Almost four months later…

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I guess I have to start somewhere.

How about with this guy.

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Almost four months old and he’s more handsome than I imagined.

Holt John Hickman was born on August 25 weighing a mere 7 pounds 2 ounces and measuring in at a whopping 19 1/2 inches long.

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Then we went through this terrifying thing where he puked blood.

That was fun. Not.

It turned out he had a dairy and soy allergy. Since he breastfeeds, it meant I had to adjust to a dairy and soy free diet. That’s been fun too. Not.

You know, people warned me that parenting was hard. They warned me about the sleepless nights, difficult decisions, and never ending putting-of-the-baby-down.

I was prepared for that.

I was not prepared for the other stuff. The weight of it all. The mere fact that this child truly is dependent on me.

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He depends on me for food.

He depends on me for shelter.

He depends on me for comfort.

He depends on me for sleep.

He depends on me for giggles.

He depends on me to find the source of tears.

I am depended on to a level that is deeply, truly exhausting.

But it’s as exhilarating as it is exhausting.

When he’s asleep for more than a couple of hours, I get ants in my pants and want him to wake up and interact with me.

When I let someone else hold him, exasperated because he needs so much of me, within seconds my arms feel itchy and I bite my lip to keep from grabbing him up.

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Anyway, that’s the update (in a minute nutshell) of my last fourish months.

I’m hoping to share some of my recipes, thoughts, and life as a new mom with you.

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